


One Bad Night

by avengingbucks



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Blow Jobs, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Hospitalization, Hypothermia, M/M, Redemption, Self-Esteem Issues, Sex, Slow Build, Spooning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-17
Updated: 2017-11-30
Packaged: 2019-02-03 14:21:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12750054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avengingbucks/pseuds/avengingbucks
Summary: Billy ends up in the hospital. Steve makes a promise to Max that he would look after Billy and Steve doesn't break promises.





	1. Everything Has Changed

**Author's Note:**

> My first Harringrove fic, and I was not supposed to dig into this ship but here I am swimming among the fishes.

He never thought his father would go this far when it came to prove a point. Billy knows he’s not the best brother, he knows he isn’t a golden boy or the perfect son, but as he is currently being yelled at, pinned to the floor and fists colliding into his face – he knows he doesn’t deserve this.

Billy talked back because his father had told him that he never does anything around here, how lazy he is and that he won’t amount to anything in life because let’s face it, “Billy, no one fucking wants you.”

The words had stung, but the pang of sadness had been replaced by annoyance and anger so he talked back. Reminded Neil about how he’s always there to pick up Max after school, looking for her when she runs off with her friends, how he’s the one cleaning the house or cooking Max dinner because Neil and Susan are always ‘out’.

Talking back had never been this dangerous.

Billy can feel how his cheekbone is crushing under every hit Neil lands on his face, how the blood is filling up his mouth and how he barely can see anymore because his face is starting to swell up. The first thought that strikes him is that this is what he did to Steve a couple of weeks ago. The irony, he thinks and tries to twist away from the next punch, but instead of saving his cheekbone it causes Neil to land a hit to his temple which knock him out.

Neil doesn’t get off him until Susan walks through the front door, screaming at the scene in front of her and having to physically drag Neil off Billy’s body.

*

The pain he feels is almost welcoming at first because at least he is alive. It doesn’t last for long though and Billy groans in pain as his skull starts to feel too tiny and the blood in his mouth threatens to drown him.

He doesn’t hear the front door open. He doesn’t hear Max’s screams or how she is sitting next to him, unsure whether to touch his face or leave it. He feels someone’s presence and it is makes him panic, wince away in fear that his father has returned to finish him off, but when she grabs his hand, he feels relief wash over him. It's just Max.

“Billy?” her voice is soft but loud and he groans in response to his name. “Where is mom?” she asks and he grips her hand tight.

He tries to shrug.

“Neil?”

He shrugs again.

“Steve!” 

_Steve?_

Max lets go off his hand and he misses it immediately, desperate and scared to be alone. It feels like he is about to die and the noise he makes indicates that he is in fact in a lot of pain. Max looks at Steve’s car outside, waves her arms and then she is by his side again, gripping his hand tight.

“Hospital?” she asks and Billy whines. “You should go to the hospital.” 

“What’s wro- Holy fuck!” Steve says out loud and looks at Billy. “What the hell happened?”

“Neil.”

“Neil?” Steve’s eyes are wide, unknowing. “Who the fuck is Neil?”

“His dad,” Max sighs and gets up, runs to the bathroom and comes back with a wet cloth and is about to start wiping some of the blood in Billy’s face off, but Steve takes it from her.

“Let me,” he starts to wipe carefully at the eyes and then at the cuts on Billy’s lips. “Fucking hell, he got you good.” 

Billy coughs and grips Steve’s wrist. It’s not hard, but Steve tries to get out of his hold and Billy won’t let go. “Help me.”

“Alright, it’s going to hurt, but come on,” Steve crouches, picks Billy up and alright, this plan was not Steve’s best because Billy is a bit bigger than he is. 

“You fucker,” Billy manages to mumble because yes, it does hurt, not just a little, but he manages to throw his arms around Steve’s neck anyway and tries to hold on.

Steve rolls his eyes in response but he manages to carry him out and into the backseat of his BMW. Max follows suit and slides into the passenger seat. “Hospital?”

*

Billy wakes up to the rich smell of coffee and his eyes lands on the figure sitting in the corner of the room. Steve _fucking_ Harrington. Of course, the guy Billy despises the most is the one finding him like this. Billy cranes his head a little to see if anyone else is in the room, but its only him and Steve. 

“Where is Max?” is the first thing he croaks out and Steve almost drops his cup of coffee from where he is sitting and reading.

“Susan picked her up about five hours ago,” Steve’s eyes are wide for a second, clearly not expecting Billy to be awake and talking. He adjusts in the hospital chair and straightens up while his back makes a little sound as he stretches. “These chairs are a pain,” he breathes and looks over at Billy and then he sips his coffee carefully, but makes a face at the bitterness of it. “How are you feeling?” he asks and it sounds genuine. 

 _How is he feeling? Like a hundred horses trampled his mind. It feels like he’s been hit by a bus._ “I’m fine,” Billy replies and curses as pain shoots through his skull.

Steve raises his brows obviously not convinced, and snorts. “You look it.”

“Fuck off, Harrington,” it doesn’t come out as venomous as he wants it to and having Steve seeing him like this makes him feel way to vulnerable. He is too tired for this bullshit. He twists in his bed and tries to ignore the fact that he could have done this exact same thing to Steve a few weeks ago. “Just go home.”

“I promised Max to keep an eye on you. So no, I can’t fuck off.” Steve puts down his cup and sighs. He looks exhausted with blood on his jacket and bags under his eyes. 

“What time is it?”

Steve looks at his watch. “4am.” 

“Go home, the nurses can keep their eyes on me. It’s not your job.”

“I tend to keep my promises, so no - I won’t go home. Try to sleep, Hargrove.”

“Suit yourself,” Billy grunts and groans. It feels like his brain is about to explode. “Fuck,” he mutters and grips the metal bars on the edges of the bed tight. 

“I’ll get a nurse to come and have a look at you,” Steve gets up from his chair fast and presses the alarm button.

Billy tries to sit up, tries to tell Steve off again but fails due to his head feeling like an anchor. When the nurse enters the room, she seems pleased that he is awake. 

“Mr. Hargrove,” she starts but Billy cuts her off quickly and corrects her.

“Billy.”

“Sorry,” she makes a face and smiles sadly. “You have a concussion and your cheekbone is fractured, but it’ll heal nicely if its left alone.” She gives him a little medicine cup with some painkillers. “Your sister told me earlier what happened-“

“She wasn’t there,” Billy snaps. “And she’s not my sister.”

“Billy,” Steve starts.

“No, she doesn’t know what happened!” he says defensively but it comes out a bit more desperate than he intended. If his father finds out he’s here, in a fucking hospital and gets the bill he’s going to do a lot more than mess up Billy’s face.

“Susan had him arrested.”

He sits up at that and looks at Steve. “What?”

“Susan, your stepmom, had your father arrested.” Steve says again as he bites the edge of his thumb nervously. “She’s been here but you were out.”

Billy tries to let the message sink in but all he can think of is _how_ and _why does she care all of a sudden?_ and then he feels ill. “I’m going to be sick,” he puts his head in his hands and tries to breathe normally. “I’m going to vomit.”

The nurse is quick to hand him the bin and Billy heaves at first but then he pukes into the bin and everything hurts as every muscle in his body tenses. He grips the bin tight and groans once he’s finished.

“You can go home later today,” she looks at the clock as it read 6am. “The doctor will be here around 8am and then you can probably go home.”

“Do you want me to drive you home?” Steve asks, arms crossed over his chest. 

Billy doesn’t know what he wants and he hates Steve for even offering, but he doesn’t want to call Susan and if he is being honest - he doesn’t want to go home. “Sure. Thanks,” he replies. “Fuck,” he breathes and lets out a chuckle before he finally starts to relax.

* 

The doctors tell him the same things as the nurse, but in more detail and how he needs to get some rest. Neil had thrown in some pretty bad punches and he would probably be bruised up for a while. Basketball practise was also out of the question for at least six weeks. You know, just in case the ball would collide his face. 

Steve was waiting patiently with his book in the corner of the hospital room and drinking what must be awful coffee because he doesn’t stop grimacing. His eyes are big and his legs are jittering, he’s probably not going to remember reading anything from the book.

Billy clears his throat and gets out of the bed. “You ready to go?” He looks around trying to find his jacket, but remembers he didn’t arrive with one.

“Yeah,” Steve closes his book and almost bounces out of the chair. He sees the look of disappointment on Billy’s face when he can’t find his jacket. “You can borrow my jacket if you want to.”

Billy snorts. “It has blood on it.” 

“It’s your own blood, dude,” Steve snorts back and shrugs of the jacket.

Billy rolls his eyes and grabs the jacket from Steve who is holding it out. “Let’s go.”

Steve does that thing where he doesn’t know whether to offer support so his hands reach out and then he takes them back, hiding them in his pockets. “Maybe you should take it a bit easy? Like, don’t rush it?”

“Shut up and just drive me back.”

“Ok.”

“Thank you.”

“Did Billy Hargrove just thank me?” Steve mocks and opens the door. “What a day.”

“Don’t flatter yourself, Harrington. This doesn’t change a damn thing,” Billy pokes at Steve’s chest as he passes him in the door.

“And here I was thinking it all would change!” Steve gasps dramatically and rolls his eyes. “You’re insufferable, you know that right?” he says as they walk out of the hospital. “Like, I get it, you’re bottled up with daddy issues-“ 

Billy pushes Steve and points his finger at him. But he doesn’t know what to say because it is true. He wants to punch Steve, so badly, but he takes a deep breath and collects himself. Steve just looks at him, waiting for a response. “Fuck you.” 

Steve unlocks his car and they both get in. Billy takes a look in the backseat and sees the blood and cringes before he looks at Steve who doesn’t even mention it. He just starts the car, turns the volume of the radio down and lets out a yawn as they drive away from the hospital.

“I’ll come over and clean your car later."

“What?” Steve looks at him for a brief second and furrows his brows in confusion before realizing what he’s referring to. “No, it’s fine. I’ll just do it tomorrow.”

“I’ll come over and clean your car, alright?” Billy persists with annoyance laced in his voice. _Just fucking accept it,_ he thinks.

 Steve does what is probably the hundredth eye roll of today and shakes his head. “Billy, seriously, it’s fine.” 

Billy looks out of the window and bites the inside of his cheek. No, it's not fine. None of what has happened is fine. He would never admit it out loud, but he feels guilty. He knows he is a piece of shit and his father's words are echoing around his head. _No one fucking wants you, Billy._ “I don’t want to go back,” he says but it comes out broken and he feels his chest tighten. “Just drop me off at the diner or somewhere else. I don’t want to go back, not yet.”

Steve looks at him, concerned and Billy meets his eyes but he looks away to focus on the road. “Anyone you can stay with?”

“In case you haven’t noticed, _Steven_ , I don’t have any friends. So no, I don’t have anyone I can stay with.” 

“It would just be Susan and Max-“

“I don’t fucking care! I don’t want to go back,” he croaks out and the first tears start to fall. He feels like a scared child and he hates how pathetic it must make him look. “Fuck!” he growls and wipes at his eyes.

“Hey, alright. You can come back with me. Mom and dad are out of town anyway. We got a spare room you can relax in.”

“What?” Billy looks at him. _Is he for real?_ “I’m the biggest asshole you know, an insufferable one and a bully-“

“You are aware of it, that’s good.” 

“Shut up.”

“No, I know you are, alright, but I’m not going to drop you off at some diner, man. Just accept the offer and swallow your pride.” Steve sighs and stops the car where the road leads to Billy’s and the other road leads to Steve’s. “So, what do you want?” he looks over at Billy and waits patiently for an answer.

“Yours," he whispers.

Steve nods and he starts driving again. The radio is playing Oh Daddy by Fleetwood Mac and they don't say a word until they reach Steve's house. “How’s your head now?” he asks.

“Painkillers are wearing off,” Billy fiddles with the hem of Steve's jacket and takes a deep breath.

“I’m sure we got some at home.”

“Why are you doing this?” Billy asks as Steve pulls the car up to his house.

“I promised, Max, remember?”

“And you don’t break promises, right…” Billy lets out a cynical chuckle and groans. “Nothing has changed, Harrington.”

“You keep saying that, Billy,” Steve turns the engine off and looks at Billy. “But it has. If it hadn’t, you would have been home in your room smoking a cigarette and blasting Metallica or something else. You’d be punching me in the face or you would be traumatizing some poor kid,” Steve opens the car door, “but you are here, with me, because your dad is sitting down at the police station for nearly killing you with his own hands and you don’t want to go home.”

Billy doesn’t reply, but he knows Steve is right. 

Something has definitely changed and Billy doesn’t like it one bit. 

 


	2. I've Heard Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know. I hate this chapter. I'm sorry.

Steve’s house is big. A lot bigger than Billy expected but then again, he didn’t know what to expect. Steve shows him the living room, the kitchen, the bathroom(s) and he basically gives Billy a full house tour before they stop outside the guest room where Billy is going to stay.

“I’ll find you some pain killers. The guest room doesn’t have a bathroom,” Steve bites his bottom lip and runs a hand through his hair. “The closest one is the one in my bedroom or the one at the bottom of the stairs,” he looks at Billy. “Just use the one at the bottom of the stairs.” Steve is about to enter his own bedroom, but Billy makes a noise and Steve turns around. “What was that?” he smiles.

“Do you have a clean shirt I can borrow?” Billy mumbles.

Steve doesn’t say anything, he just enters his room and rummages through his dresser and finds a t-shirt that looks pretty worn out. Steve throws it over at Billy and the t-shirt is soft. It smells of Steve and he makes a face. “What?” Steve’s face falters. “Is it dirty?”

“No.”

“Do you need some sweatpants?” Steve looks at Billy’s jeans, which got some blood on them, and before Billy gets to protest Steve rushes inside his bedroom while yelling. “I got some, just wait!” Steve finds a pair of neatly folded sweatpants lying in his bathroom, probably put there by his mother. He walks back out and hands them to Billy. “You ok?” he asks and eyes Billy. He looks torn, like he’s having an internal battle with himself and Steve wants to tell him that everything will be ok, that he doesn’t have to put up a front. But he doesn’t. Billy is still an asshole, Steve doesn’t just forgive and forget that easily, but he believes that things can change. He hopes things can change.

“Yeah, I mean, I will be. Thanks.” Billy gives Steve a lopsided smile and sighs.

“Let me know, just knock if you need anything else.” Steve says and goes to fetch the pain killers. When he returns, Billy is sitting on the bed in the guestroom.

“I don’t get why you even do this man.” Billy hangs his head and chuckles before letting out a sigh and looks over at Steve who is standing in the doorway with a glass of water and pills in his hand.

“Do what?” Steve looks confused and walks over to Billy.

“Keeping a promise to make sure the worst brother and person you know is ok,” he takes the pills and puts the glass on the nightstand. “You’re fucking weird.”

Steve shakes his head. “Alright, she’s going to kill me for telling you this,” Steve groans and runs a hand over his face. “She’s always worrying about you. ‘Why is he so angry? What did I do?’ She loves you, man.”

Max doesn’t love him. No one fucking loves Billy, he knows that much. Last person that loved him was his mom. There is a part of him that prefers it that way. It makes it easier to just get up and leave one day, but he’s seen the way Max sometimes looks hopeful, like Billy might want to hang out with her or just do something together. But he keeps pushing her away. Billy shoots Steve a look and snorts. “Love me? I’m constantly making her life difficult.”

“But you always make sure she’s ok. You always wait for her after school and you don’t want the boys near her.”

“That’s because they are little shits.”

“Hey, they are good guys,” Steve defends. “But I get you. If I had a little sister, I wouldn’t want a bunch of boys to be running after her. None of them do that though, they play video games and Dungeons and Dragons. They play in the woods and have fun.”

“Whatever,” Billy says. “Do you have a phone I can borrow so I can call her and let her know I’m here?”

“Sure. Down by the kitchen.”

“Thanks.”

“I’m gonna try catch some sleep. If you want anything to eat, help yourself.”

“Alright, thank you, Steve,” Billy looks at him. “I mean it. I…”

“Hey,” Steve holds his hand up like ‘don’t go all sap on me its not you’. And he just smiles. “It chill.”

Billy just nods and then he’s alone. He can hear Steve hitting the bed because there is a loud groan and a thud. Sleep sounds like the best thing in the world right now, but Max deserves to know that he’s ok. He walks down to the kitchen and calls back home.

“Hello?”

It’s Susan. Billy leans against the wall and lets out a sigh. “Hi, Susan, it’s me.”

“Billy!” she sounds so relieved and Billy wants to cry. “Are you still in the hospital?”

“No, I-uh… I’m at a friend’s house. The guy who came with me to the hospital.” He wipes at his eyes and sniffles. “I’m ok.”

“Steve. Max says the nicest things about him. Oh, she wants to talk to you.”

“No, Su-“

“Billy!”

“Hey.”

“Are you alright?” she sounds so concerned and Billy takes a deep breath, feeling overwhelmed. He hates this. _He hates feeling things._

“I will be. I’m at Steve’s.”

“He got a pool. Did you know?” she sounds excited.

“Does he now?” Billy chuckles.

“Billy?”

“Yeah?” he breathes and twines his finger into the phone wire.

“I’m glad you’re ok.”

“Me too.”

“Mom wonders if you’ll be back today?”

“No…” he pauses. Just the thought of going back home is making him feel nauseous. “I’m going to stay at Steve’s for a bit. I’ll come pick you up for school and everything though.”

“Mom says she can drive me.”

“I want to.”

“Ok.”

“Max?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

Billy bites down on his knuckle. Apologizing is not his thing. He can’t remember the last time he said sorry and genuinely meant it. Here he is almost breaking down because he knows he’s been awful. But he liked being awful, being the upper hand and having control. Right now, it feels like his entire world is spiralling out of control and all it took was a beating. He’s had so many of them, why has it changed now? _Fuck_. “I know I’ve been a shit brother to you, alright. I just…” he swallows down the lump in his throat.

She doesn’t reply. She hates him, he’s sure of it. Why wouldn’t she? The silence on the other end is killing him. Maybe the line got cut off?

“Max?”

“Yeah.”

“I thought you went,” he mutters. “Do you hate me?”

“I’m still here,” she sighs. “I don’t hate you, I hate your behaviour.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

“I’ll come and get my car and then I’ll drive you to school tomorrow.”

“Ok.”

“You alright?” Having found him almost beaten to a pulp cannot have been a very nice sight for Max. He hasn’t thought about that until now.

“Like you said, ‘I will be’.” She mimics his voice and chuckles on the other end. “We’ll be ok.”  
  
“Alright, see ya, Max.”

“Bye, Billy.”

They hang up and Billy decides to walk around in Steve’s house because he needs to clear his thoughts. There is still a part of him that hates. He just hates so much and he is filled with this pent-up anger that he takes out on people because he doesn’t want them to see him for who he really is. Billy used to be happy, in that sense where he had a nice family and good friends. Then he reached his teenage years, felt the need to explore all kinds of things. Drugs, girls, boys… and that’s when it all changed. His friends backed off, the trouble followed him around like a dog on leash. It was his own fault, he can’t put the blame on anyone else. His dad had walked in on him and another guy making out, the music had been so loud they hadn’t heard him come back from work and the stench of weed was unmistakable so of course his dad had gone into his room just as Billy was about to go down on a guy.

He ended up in the hospital that night. After that it was the verbal attacks from Neil every single day that started to build a wall inside of Billy. Just to shut everything out. Billy drank, smoked and fucked more guys because why the hell not, right? Why not piss off the bull even more while he was at it. When his mother left Neil, Billy somehow got the blame because he was a fag and she left because she was disgusted by him. Now, he knows that he wasn’t responsible but he got beaten for it. A lot. Not enough for anyone to notice the broken ribs at school or the bruises on his back. He is still mad that she left, but he gets it.

Susan. Billy hated her so much when she first came into his life. How dare she stand where his mother once stood and along with her, a kid that ended up somehow being Billy’s new responsibility. He grew to like Susan because she was never doing anything wrong. She was polite, kind and Max was shy, never wanting to bother Billy because she probably sensed his mood from miles away, but she never did anything when Neil got angry. She never told him to stop when he hit Billy. Until now.

He sits down in the couch, sighs and leans forward to rest his head in his hands. It feels like he’s suffocating. He doesn’t deserve people forgiving him. Billy has done so much shit he doesn’t forgive himself.

“You alright there?” Steve says from behind and Billy almost falls of the couch.

“Weren’t you sleeping?” he asks and collects himself. “You can’t just sneak up on people, you ass.”

“I literally just came down the stairs,” Steve rolls his eyes and shakes his head in disbelief. “I had a one hour nap. It’s enough.” He walks over to the kitchen, Billy follows him.

“Can you drive me home later so I can get my car?” he asks and lifts himself up on the counter. “I told Max I would drive her to school tomorrow.”

“Should you be driving?” Steve says as he takes a spoon and starts to eat out a jar of chocolate. He looks at Billy, almost studying his face to the point where he makes him uncomfortable. “You probably still have concussion.”

Billy looks away, but then he meets Steve’s eyes. “It’s a five-minute drive from yours, I’m not going to crash.”

“Hmmm…” Steve squints his eyes and licks the spoon slowly. Drags his tongue on the spoon, making it look so fucking filthy. Billy stares, wondering if Steve’s doing it on purpose just to see Billy’s reaction. Steve eats slowly out of the jar, his thoughts obviously somewhere else because he is not looking at Billy anymore, he would say Steve’s eyes are more fixed on his crotch.

“What are you doing?”

“What?” Steve stops and his eyes widen. “Oh my god.”

Billy laughs and Steve is bright red. “You went somewhere else for a second, Harrington. Care to share your thoughts? Chocolate turn you on?”

Steve makes a disgusted face and turns his back to Billy. “Shut up, Hargrove.”

Billy’s not going to deny that he feels attracted to Steve. He felt it the moment they met. Billy was drunk, but man, Steve was something else entirely from the California guys. But after a while he just figured Steve was boring and moved on. Billy knew that Steve had loved Nancy and never had Billy any desire to fuck up relationships. Right now, Steve isn’t too bad. He almost wants to tell Steve to make him shut up, but he drops it. Instead he asks for a sandwich.

They end up chilling in the living room, talking in between silences about cars, classes, basketball and Billy tells Steve a little bit about California.

“Did you do surfing?” Steve asks. Eyes heavy and he got a small smile playing on his lips.

Billy snorts. “No.”

“Why not?”

“I’m not a fan of the depths of the ocean. I love swimming, but to go hunting for a big wave was never my thing.”

Steve just nods. “I love swimming too.”

“Max told me you had a pool.”

“We do, but I haven’t used it for a while.”

“Why not?”

Steve twists uncomfortably and shakes his head. “I don’t want to talk about it now.”

Billy is not going to push it so he drops it. “Alright.”

It’s getting darker outside and Billy realizes they’ve done absolutely nothing all day except relax. It feels weird, no doubt, but he kind of likes it too.

“It’s snowing.”

Billy’s head turns so fast he causes himself a headache, but it’s been ages since he’s seen snow. “No way!” he says excited and walks over to the window to watch the first snow fall.

“You never seen snow?” Steve’s brows shoot up and he looks amused.

“I’m from the west coast, it rarely snowed unless we went high up,” he clears his throat and looks away.

“We should go get your car.”

“Yeah.”

*

Susan cries when she sees Billy and what feels like the first time, she pulls him into a hug and just holds him. “I’m so sorry.”

Billy doesn’t cry, but he hugs her back and when Max sees them on the porch she joins in on the hug.

“Alright,” Billy says and pulls away. He gives them a tight smile. “I’m just here to pick up my car keys.”

“Stay for dinner?” Max looks at him pleadingly. “ _Please_.”

“I…” he looks over his shoulder at Steve who is sitting in his car, sleeping. “We were going to have pizza.”

“Oh,” Max looks at Steve as well. “You two friends now?”

“You wish.”

“Billy.”

“What?” he snaps and regrets it because Max takes a step back. “Sorry.”

“You know, it’s not impossible for you to have friends," she rolls her eyes and crosses her arms.

“Max, he’s being nice. He’s not out to become friends with me.”

“Why hasn’t he left then?”

“Because he wants to make sure I don’t drive into a ditch on our way back.”

“He caaaaares,” Max sing songs.

Billy moves past them with a groan and he can hear Susan muttering something about _‘give him some time’_ and Max's complaining sounds. He smiles to himself for a brief moment before he sees the blood stained carpet and stops in his tracks.

“I’m having it replaced next week,” Susan says quietly behind him.

Billy stares at it and nods. “Is he still at the station?”

“Hopper is trying to get him sent to a jail in the city.”

Is Billy glad? Relieved? He doesn’t know. He feels angry, ashamed for not being able to stand up against his father. He doesn’t say anything as he walks into his room where he spots his car keys immediately and then he walks back out, nearly knocking Max over.

“Watch it!” Billy growls and Max just flips him off like she normally does.

“Be nice to each other,” Susan says and it’s the first time he’s heard her say those words. “Drive safe, Billy.”

“Thanks,” he furrows his brows in confusion and takes a deep breath before he grabs Max’s arm and pulls her in for a quick hug, pushes her away and walks fast out of the house before she even gets to realize what he just did. Billy is shaking the moment he gets behind the wheel of his car and he lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. _He just hugged her._ It must have been the first hug he's ever given her. He’s such an ass and _such a mess, oh my god_. “Ugh,” he groans and starts the car, honks and flashes the headlights so Steve will wake up. Billy laughs when he sees Steve jolt awake, clearly confused and flips him off when he sees the smirk on Billy’s face.

He drives in silence back to Steve’s behind his car. They decide to put on a movie, order pizza because that was the best idea Steve has heard in a while and Billy decides to make a move. He sits close to Steve just to see his reaction.

“What are you doing?” Steve asks and looks at Billy.

He is so close, Billy thinks and his eyes dart to Steve’s lips, then he averts his gaze and looks at the TV. “I’m just cold,” he shrugs.

“Right…” Steve chuckles and puts his arm on the back of the couch, if he moved his arm a bit down he’d been holding it around Billy.

“If you hate human contact so much, throw me a blanket.”

“It’s fine,” Steve says but Billy can here the lie so he moves away. “Billy.”

“Forget about it.”

“No, I’m sorry. It’s fine, really.”

“You’re a terrible liar, Harrington.”

“I’ve heard things…” he mutters and Billy turns his head to look at Steve with squinted eyes. "I mean..."

“What things?” he asks and he can feel the anxiety crawl under his skin.

“I…”

“Come on, spit it out, Steve!” Billy stands up. “What shit have you heard? Lay it on me.” The entire mood has changed. It went from being civilized and friendly to a fucking minefield and Billy feels excited because finally, _reality is coming back._

Steve looks uncomfortable and Billy can see the regret on his face. “That you like guys.”

“And?”

“Well…”

Billy looks at him like a question mark on purpose. “Fuck, just speak your goddamn mind.”

“Is it true?” Steve looks at him with his big brown eyes and he looks curious. He isn’t raising his voice in disgust or telling Billy to get the fuck out.

“That I like guys?” Billy snorts and looks at the TV. “I’ve fucked around, liked it and never regretted it. I like girls, I like boys.”

“Ok.”

“Ok?”

“Yeah, I mean, its cool. I was just curious.”

“What about you, Steve?” Billy says and moves so he’s standing in front of Steve. “What do you like? You straight? You gay? You bi?” he sits on the table so Steve can’t see the TV. He has to look away from Billy or look directly at him. “I’ve heard things too. How you fucked around with the girls and got whipped when you met Nancy. You whipped, Steve?”

“Fuck off, Billy,” Steve gets up and pushes at Billy.

“No, you don’t get to throw my sexuality in my face and not receive some shit yourself. You made this awkward.”

“You’re the one making it awkward!” Steve warns. “I was a shit before, yes. Yes, I fell in love-“

“Awww, you fell in love. That’s nice!” Billy mocks and he can hear he’s becoming more and more like himself. He’s almost having fun with this. Riling Steve up. Steve shuts up and takes a deep breath before he just starts staring at Billy. “Staring contest, sure!” Billy says and stands up too. Their faces are so close Billy can feel Steve’s breath hitch a little. He huffs out a laugh before he grabs a hold of Steve’s neck and pulls him in for a kiss. It’s quick and sloppy and Billy won’t deny he’s wanted to do it since he first laid his eyes on Steve at that halloween party. He pulls away and looks at Steve who looks like he just got a bucket of cold ice thrown at him. 

“Fuck you, Harrington.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It feels like I'm just filling this story in. Which is good I guess. Chapter 3 will be better, ok. Bear with me, please don't leave me hahaha *hides*


	3. Exposed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve's POV. Just to throw in a little feelings, idk. I felt like it was important.

First of all, _what the fuck?_ Second of all, _holy shit._ Steve doesn’t know what to do.

He regretted saying that he’d heard things because Max was the one dropping hints, saying the reason why Neil was such an ass to Billy is because Billy had been with boys and Neil was a big racist and homophobic piece of shit. Ok, she didn’t drop any hints she laid it out like it wasn’t a big deal. But she too had regretted telling Steve this because she knew if Billy found out he’d be borderline murderous. But Steve didn’t want to say: “Hey, Max told me you fooled around with boys. Is that true?” So, he went with the other option which had turned out to be equally as terrible if not worse.

Billy shouldn’t have to walk around believing everyone at school knows about his sexuality. He obviously didn’t flaunt it.

“Fuck you, Harrington.”

“Billy,” Steve grabs a hold of Billy’s arm and the other guy’s expression is hard to read. _Is he mad? Is he hurt? Ready to bash Steve’s face in again?_ You’ll never know with this ticking time-bomb. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound like an ass.”

Billy’s cynical laugh chimes out in the living room and Steve frowns. “I’ll be completely honest with you, Steve,” Billy licks his lips and rips his arm away from Steve’s grip. “I wanted you the moment I saw you at that party.”

 _Did his voice break?_ Steve takes a small step back, looking at Billy. “The Halloween party?” Steve had found it intriguing having a guy like Billy come up to his face, staring him down as if daring him to fight him. Steve takes a deep breath and holds it. Waits for Billy to continue.

“Yeah,” Billy scoffs. “I didn’t make a move because you were with Nancy. Then I found you boring and I just started disliking you because Max was constantly with you and I thought you were a perverted fuck, but then you did this,” Billy raises his arms and sighs. “You go and help me, take me in because you ‘promised to keep an eye on me’ and you turn out to be decent after all.” Billy shakes his head and turns away before turning back to Steve. “Did you like it?”

“What?” Steve’s eyes go big and it feels like his brain short circuits.

“My lips on your lips, the kiss, did you like it?” Billy moves up into his face again and Steve swallows. “You did, didn’t you?”

 _Yes._ Steve did like it. It was new, it was unexpected and if he had known Billy would make that move, he’d kiss back. Would he though? He still finds Billy slightly scary, unpredictable and very much an asshole. But Billy had shown a softer side earlier and even if it had been the pain making him show that side or the concussion – Steve got to see it. It had been nice up until Steve became nervous to bring up the subject and he had gone about it like an asshole. “Yes.”

“What?” Billy looks surprised and his guard goes down for a moment but he puts it right back up. “You’re kidding me.”

Steve takes a step towards him and Billy takes one step back. “I was curious.” He tries to be calm but his heart is racing and his mouth is dry and he wants to reach out and touch, apologize because Steve was out of line.

“Of what? What it would be like kissing guys?” Billy shakes his head.

_No, no, no._

“Steve, I’m not here to be your experiment. If you’re in the closet, find someone else to experiment with.”

“I was curious about you!” Steve blurts.

Billy didn’t expect that answer. “Why?”

“You were constantly in my face, dude, and you got stuck in my head. I didn’t want you to be, but you just were, alright?” Steve exhales and sits down in the couch with his head in his hands. “My life was starting to fall apart after Nancy and I broke it off and then the beating happened. Even after you gave me that beating in Byers’ house, you kind of changed your behaviour to closed off and more distant. It’s fucked up, but I missed you being in my way because my life was starting to get boring before you came to Hawkins and then you kept that fucking distance and my life felt fucking empty. It’s wrong, I know. But I thought about you when I should have thought about girls and whenever Max just mentioned your name I listened in because I was curious of what you were doing.” Steve is nearly shaking where he is sitting.

Billy is just staring at him.

Steve is getting nervous and he would rather die than have Billy walk out on him now. “Say something, please.”

It takes at least a minute, one agonizing minute, before Billy speaks. “You are fucking crazy.”

_I know._

“You jerked off thinking about me?”

_Asshole._

“That’s what you gathered from what I just told you?” Steve can’t believe this. “Yes, and I whispered your name as I came, happy?” he rolls his eyes and takes a deep breath. “Jesus.”

Billy relaxes and walks over to where Steve is sitting and he sits down on the table, facing Steve. “I’m going to go home now,” Billy sighs.

 _No. Please, don’t go._ “Ok?” it comes out as a question and Steve leans back, feeling the air leave him. _Fuck._

“I’ll see you at school, Harrington.” Billy fetches his keys and starts walking towards the door.

“Billy, what the fuck?” Steve gets up and walks after him. “What the actual fuck?”

“Don’t do this, Steve,” Billy warns.

“No, you can’t do this. I just told you I like you!” Steve can feel himself getting desperate.

“Well you shouldn’t have.”

“You shouldn’t have kissed me.”

“You're right, I really shouldn’t have.”

Steve steps back at that. Billy either as a mask on or he’s mocking Steve. Psyching him down to the point where anxiety and self-hatred is the only feelings present. Billy is fucking smiling and shaking his head like he can’t believe this is happening.

“Bye, Harrington.”

Steve opens the door feeling nauseous and locks it once Billy is out of his house. He looks at the time and decides to go to bed is probably the best because he doesn’t want to be alone with his thoughts. He can’t believe how this turned out. He can’t believe he expected anything else. Steve can’t believe his life is this shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate everyone who leaves kudos and comments. Seriously, I know my writing might be shit but it means a whole lot when you leave a little something behind. Thank you!


	4. Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tables are turned.

Susan was confused when Billy came back home, but she didn’t question it. Instead she wished him a good night and smiled softly at him.

On the inside Billy is fuming. Mostly at himself for being so incapable of accepting anything good coming into his life. Instead he turned to the emotions he knows the best. Anger and hate. It was easier to deal with, easier to take it out on someone else.

Billy had walked out of Steve’s house on shaking legs and a mind threatening to explode. _Steve wanted him! Hah! What a fucking joke._ But it wasn’t a joke and it terrified Billy to the point where he ran away from it. Steve had been honest and it became too much.

He cries himself to sleep, ditches school for almost a week and Susan receives a call from the principal wondering where Billy is. Then she receives a phone call from Hopper saying that Neil is transferred to a jail in the city and that he’s not getting out anytime soon. Hopper made sure of that. Only good news to reach Billy's ears. Billy feels relieved but he keeps putting off going back to school until his face looks normal again. The bruises have faded to a point where they are slightly yellow and they don’t hurt as much anymore.

He is sitting out on the porch having a cigarette when Jonathan and Nancy pull up into his driveway. _What the heck?_ Billy stands up, flicks the cigarette onto the pavement and crosses his arms over his chest. He walks towards the car and over to Nancy’s side where he stops and gestures for her to roll the window down. “What are you guys doing here?” he asks, politely and they exchange a look before she roll down the window.

“Have you seen Steve?” she asks and Billy squints his eyes.

“What do you mean, ‘have I seen Steve?’” he mimics her voice, smiling when he sees how annoyed Jonathan gets.

“He hasn’t been at school since Wednesday and he’s not home,” Jonathan snarls.

“How do you know he’s not home?”

“Because his car is gone and the house is dark.”

“I got no idea, man,” Billy puts up his hands and Nancy shoots him a look. “What? I got no fucking clue where he is.” He’s not gonna lie but worry creeps up on him like wildfire.

“He called me on Wednesday night and told me about you.”

_He called me on Wednesday night and told me about you_   
_He called me on Wednesday night and told me about you_   
_He called me on Wednesday night and told me about you_

“What did Harrington have to say about me?” Billy leans onto the car, hands resting against the cold exterior. Uneasy feeling heavy in his gut. She doesn’t answer him right away and he slams his hands down into the roof of Byers’ car. “Nancy, what did he say?!”

“Hold on, Christ,” she opens the door and drags Billy away from the car so Jonathan won’t hear. “He was drunk,” she starts. She rubs her arms and look at the ground, obviously unsure if she should continue this story but then she sighs. “He kept saying that he messed up and I thought that he meant our relationship,” she makes a pattern in the snow with her foot and continues with a muffled voice. “But then he said your name and he paused for a long time before he said he really, really liked you. I’m not judging,” she looks at Billy with wide eyes. “But don’t lie to me if you know anything about his whereabouts. I still care about Steve and if he went for a drive in that state he could be lying somewhere in a ditch…” she says this all very fast and Billy is all tensed up and he might not like Nancy or anyone in this shit town but Steve had stirred up some emotions in Billy and yes, he likes Steve. Does he need to shout it from a fucking rooftop?

“Fuck,” is all he manages to say.

“So, you got no idea where he might be?”

“No, I got no fucking clue where he is, Nancy!” Billy growls. “Fuck.”

“We should all go look for him. Drive around and see if we can find his car. Can I borrow your phone to call Hopper?”

“I’ll call Hopper.”

“Will you join me and Jonat-“

“I got my own car!” Billy snaps at her and Nancy backs off.

“Ok,” she says and retreats back to Jonathan. "Let me know if you do find him."

Billy turns on his heel and walks fast back into the house where he nearly rips the phone off the wall before calling to the police station. He’s had a few encounters with Hopper while being drunk and off his ass. Even if Hopper is a tough son of a bitch he is probably the most real person in Hawkins. So, when Flo takes the message about a missing Steve she tells Billy she’ll pass the message right on to Hopper.

“Motherfucker had to go missing,” Billy mutters to himself as he shrugs on a jacket and steps into a pair of winter boots. “Fucking hell.”

It has been a week since he kissed Steve and a week since he pushed him away. And if Billy had known he would be out on a slippery road looking for Steve a week later, he would probably have stayed. _Who is he kidding?_ Billy can’t handle feelings. He runs away from love. Right now, his knuckles are white from gripping the wheel too tight, he is worried and so, so, angry because _what the fuck, Steve!?_

He drives around for at least two hours before he decides to drive to the junkyard. It’s icy and it’s snowing – Billy’s favourite weather, yay. No, he is almost fuming when the Camaro refuses to move up the little hill that leads to what Max considers the playground. Crazy kids. “FUCK!” he yells and pulls the handbreak and walks the remaining distance. It's fucking freezing and its getting darker when he spots the brown BMW. He runs over to it, checks the windows but Steve isn’t in the car.

“Steve!” he yells and then nothing. Just the sound of metal hitting metal in the wind. “Harrington, you are not being funny,” Billy mutters to himself and walks around to check if he might be lying unconscious somewhere. Then he heads over to a bus. He opens the door, climbs inside and there he is.

Billy’s heart stops for a second because Steve looks dead. He looks way too peaceful and panic settles in Billy’s mind because this is not happening.

“Steve…” he whispers and walks towards him. “Hey, you got to wake up now.” He nudges Steve’s shoulder with his hand but he gets no response. When Billy breathes he can see it, but there is nothing coming from Steve. “Dude,” Billy grabs a hold of Steve’s jacket and tries to jolt him awake. “Don’t fucking do this!” he shakes him and decides to slap his face. “Wake the fuck up!” Billy cries. “Please, just wake up!” he cups Steve’s face with one hand and feels how cold he is. “You can’t fucking die on me, Harrington. Not in a junkyard of all places.” Billy shrugs off his warm jacket and puts it over Steve. 

What is he supposed to do? Billy looks around and there is an empty bottle of whiskey on the floor. It might be Steve's or someone else's but Billy decides to blame Steve. “You fucker,” he growls and hits Steve’s chest. Billy doesn't know how to do CPR so hope fully his anger will do. “Wake up!” he hits him again and again until all he does is pounding on Steve’s body. “You don’t get to die like this!” he yells and then all caught up in his rage, he accidentally punches Steve’s face and he breaks out a sob because Steve coughs. He groans. He makes sounds and Billy’s breath hitches and he’s is almost hyperventilating. “You fucker!” he hits Steve again in the chest.

“Billy?” he groans and shudders. “Wha-“

“God, I hate you so much. You’re like a fucking teenage girl threatening with suicide if her boyfriend leaves her. You can’t just do this shit, Steve!” Billy growls and kicks the whiskey bottle to the other end of the wrecked bus. “What were you thinking?”

“I fell asleep!” he defends weakly.

“Y-You fell asleep?!” Billy scoffs and walks over to grab Steve by his collar and pulls him up into a standing positing. He doesn’t give a fuck that Steve can barely stand on his own. “Nancy came to my house, telling me you’ve been missing since Wednesday. And then you told her, while being smashed, how much you liked me. Fucking hell, Steve.” Billy runs a hand over his face. Still not over the fact that he just resurrected Steve. "You..." he sighs and decides not to point it out. "You are unbelievable."

“I’m sorry,” he croaks out. “Alright?”

“No, it’s not fucking alright.”

“Billy.”

“You’re gonna put my jacket on because it’s fucking freezing tonight, and I’m gonna drive you to my house and if I have to cook you soup and make you a hot bath, I fucking will, alright? But then I’m going to drive you home and tell your parents that you are reckless and need a babysitter because this," Billy gestures around them, "this shit you pulled here, is not fucking ok for anyone who cares about you!” Billy is out of breath once he finishes and Steve can only nod in response.

They drive back to Billy’s in silence. He can hear Steve’s teeth clattering and he is constantly rubbing his hands together trying to regain warmth so Billy turns the heater up to maximum. He keeps stealing glances. His heart tugs when he sees how broken Steve looks. 

Susan and Max are home when they arrive at the house. Susan looks sceptical when Billy drags Steve into the house and Max’s eyes go wide when she sees the state Steve’s in.

“Is he ok?” Max asks and Billy just grunts as he pushes Steve towards the bathroom.

“Can you be more careful, please?” Steve mutters as Billy closes the door behind them.

“No. Take off your clothes.”

“What?” Steve looks at Billy like he’s lost his mind.

Maybe he has. He starts to fill up the bathtub and checks if the temperature is alright before he sits down on top of the toilet and waits for Steve to do as he’s told. “You’re naked with me in the showers at school, Steve.”

“This is different!” he exclaims, but he starts to take off the jackets. His jumper is wet from defrosting and Steve groans at his joints crack. He sees the look on Billy’s face and rolls his eyes. “Can you wait outside?”

“No.”

“Billy, come on.”

“No, you might want to drown yourself. Who the fuck knows with you?” Billy crosses his arms and stares at Steve.

This is the moment Steve decides to pick Billy apart. The fact that Billy is caring enough about Steve not to let him out of his sight is apparently amusing. “Is this your way of caring about me?” Steve says and Billy looks away, clearly not in the mood. "You care about me."

“Just get in the bath, Harrington,” Billy says.

“I had to nearly die-“

“You were dead.”

“I wasn’t dead.”

“You weren’t fucking breathing, Steve!” Billy growls and stands up to get in his face. “I had to punch you back to life!”

Steve goes silent.

“Now, get in the fucking bath. I’ll go call Nancy and tell her that you’re here. She can pick you up and drive you home later.” Billy exits the bathroom only to find Max outside the door, clearly listening in on them. She looks frightened and Billy wants to push her aside, but he just waits for her to move. He can’t deal with this right now.

He calls Nancy and she sounds relieved. Billy leaves out the details about what condition he found Steve in but he lets her know that he can stay at his house for the night. Of course he’s not going to let Steve be on his own.

“Hey Nancy,” he's wondered about something for a while and he figures he might as well just ask Nancy. “Steve’s parents. They never home?”

“Usually gone for at least two weeks at a time. Business, conferences and all that.”

“Alright.”

“They should be home the next week,” she sighs. “He’s changed a lot this year, Billy. He’s been through shit and he might tell you more about everything but please don’t play with him. I know how to use a gun.”

“You’re so sweet.”

“I’m being serious, Hargrove. Steve doesn’t deserve your bullshit.”

“Bye, Nancy,” Billy singsongs and rolls his eyes as he hangs up.

Billy feels exhausted. He _knows_ Steve doesn’t deserve his bullshit. Billy tries not to give him too much of it.

“Billy?”

Susan comes up to him and smiles. “Who’s in our bathtub?”

“A friend. He got himself nearly killed and I’m gonna keep an eye on him.”

“Oh, is he ok?” she looks to the bathroom with wide eyes and worry written all over her face. “Does his pare-“

“They don’t care.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Billy smiles. “A lot of parents don’t care.”

“I do.”

“I know.”

“Good.”

Billy looks at the floor. He has never actually had a guy stay the night. He’s never asked for permission or wanted to have anyone stay over. “Susan?” he asks as she walks to the kitchen.

“Yes?” she turns around with a warm smile on her face and Billy thinks: _why can’t you be my mom?_

“I was wondering if… can Steve stay?”

“For the night?”

“Yeah or as long as it takes for him to be ok?” Billy makes a face. He sounds like a fucking child. He bites the inside of his cheek and waits for her reply.

“Of course, Billy. I’ll make the couch up.”

He can’t believe her. He can’t believe she’s never dared to show this side to him before. “Thank you.”

*

Steve gets out of the bathroom after an hour. He is peaking out of the door and he calls for Billy who already knows what he’s going to ask for.

“Those are your sweatpants and that’s one of my old sweaters, you can keep it.”

Steve’s eyes almost lit up like its Christmas and Billy snorts.

“You’re easy to please.”

“You have no idea,” Steve closes the bathroom door again and gets changed.

“I got some idea," Billy mutters to himself and chuckles at the irony of how their tables have turned.

When they walk out to the living room, Steve stops because he spots the couch. “I thought you said Nancy would come pick me up?”

“Yeah, not happening. You are staying the night.”

Billy makes soup and they eat it in silence. Steve looks like shit. Like he never got to fully rest after helping Billy out. It literally looks like he came back from the dead. “I was thinking,” Billy says and puts his spoon down. “Maybe we should go to the hospital. Have you checked out?”

“I’m ok, Billy.”

“You look like a zombie,” Max pipes up from the living room, some cartoon playing on the TV. “Did you die?”

“I did according to your brother.”

“Sick.”

“No, not sick. Shut up, Max.” Billy glares at her.

“It’s fine, Billy.”

“None of this is fine,” he says through gritted teeth. He feels like fire, he wants to consume Steve and never let him out of his sight again. Yes, of course he fucking blames himself for pushing Steve away in the first place, but he has no idea on how to approach someone he has _actual_ feelings for. He eats the rest of his soup and goes to his bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. I appreciate the comments and kudos. It means a lot to me and I get this big smile on my face. I've always deleted my fics because I've hated them, but I just get so happy when SOMEONE likes my fic. It means so so much.


	5. Get Some

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler alert!!! They make out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so I've decided to speed this up a little. I'm probably going to write 2 more chapters - which will be longer, but hopefully I'll make the last 2 goooooood

“Are you ok?” Steve asks as he enters Billy’s room later that night.

Billy is facing away from Steve, ironically his head is in the closet looking for a sweater, but hearing Steve just makes his mind lose focus. “I was trying to find a sweater.”

“Any luck?” Steve walks around in the bedroom, taking a look around before he sits down on Billy’s bed.

Billy turns around and leans against the closet door. “No. I think I gave you my only one.” Steve looks a bit better now. His cheeks got more colour in them and he is giving Billy that soft smile.

You are making me weak, Harrington.

“You should get more sweater, it’s only going to get colder outside.”

“I miss California,” Billy groans.

“Why? Hawkins is the best town there is!” Steve jokes and suddenly he looks sad. “I-I wanted to apologize.”

“For what?” Billy pushes himself off the closet and walks over to sit down next to Steve. Their shoulders almost touching.

“For saying what I said back at my house. I talked to Max and she said I could tell you that she was the one telling me about you. I never heard it from someone at school. If you thought that, I’m sorry. I’m also sorry about my behaviour because telling Nancy was not part of any plan. I just…” Steve closes his eyes. “I’ve never felt like this before. Not even with Nancy and I fucking loved Nancy. I had my whole future planned out with her, in my head that is, but yeah. I don’t know why I… feel like this.”

Billy isn’t sure what to do now. Like, he knows he can grab Steve’s hand. He could probably kiss Steve right now and it would all be ok, but his mind is like ‘ _move away, abort this, get the fuck away_ ’. Billy moves a little bit to the side and swallows. _Why is he so fucking terrified?_ “Steve,” he croaks out and he shakes his head. _Why is he shaking his head!?_

Steve looks at him with his big brown eyes and he waits for a reply. His expression soft as he bites the corner of his bottom lip nervously.

“I’m not good at this. At all,” Billy stands up and groans. “I don’t do this,” he gestures to Steve who looks sad for a moment, “No, no! Not like that. I mean…” Billy groans again. “Feelings. Emotions. I can’t place them. I’m fucking terrified of what you are doing to me.”

“What?”

“You heard me, Harrington. I’m trying to be honest, it’s tearing me apart.”

“Oh…”

They’re in silence for a long time. It’s agonizing and Billy is weighing the pro’s and con’s if he just tells still how he truly feels. If Steve can do it, why can’t Billy?

He fidgets with the ring on his finger and then he opens his mouth, but closes it again. But then a little bravery strikes. “I like you too, ok?” he mumbles before he sits down next to Steve again. Before Steve gets to open his mouth to reply, Billy grabs the back of his neck and pulls him in for a kiss. Billy is desperate, he’s never wanted anything more in his entire life and when Steve doesn't kiss him back, his heart drops.

“Billy-“ Steve pushes on Billy’s chest and frowns.

“I thought you wanted this?” Billy flinches a little. Feeling stupid for moving too fast. “Are you… disgusted?” he says because the first time Billy made out with a guy he didn’t know how he felt. Everyone had told him how wrong it was for to guys to kiss, how disgusting and gross it was. It was different and so wrong for a lot of people who Billy had been surrounding himself with.

“No!” Steve says loudly and clasps a hand over his mouth realizing there were other people in the house. “No…” he says again, lower this time. He goes silent and Billy can see that he’s thinking. Then he grabs Billy’s hand.

 _Handholding?_ “Seriously? You want to hold my hand?” Billy smiles because Steve is such a dork.

“No, that’s weird, you are right.” Steve pulls his hand back and grimaces.

“Yeah. Let’s not do that.” _Please, do it again,_ is what he really means.

They both laugh because they are both dumb and Steve looks like he just won the lottery because he’s never heard Billy laugh like that.

“I really do want this though,” Steve inhales sharply and catches Billy off-guard when he’s the one kissing him now. Steve is soft, careful and so, so good at kissing it makes Billy think all kinds of things. He goes weak when Steve’s hands move into his hair and he deepens the kiss by licking into Billy’s mouth. “Fuck,” Billy moans and opens his eyes only to find Steve already looking at him. “You’re good at this.”

“So are you,” Steve whispers with a smile and his eyes dart down to Billy’s lips. “And you taste good too.” He kisses him again and its like he wants to savour the taste of Billy because they kiss for a long time before they break apart.

Billy feels like he’s in heaven. Also, _is Steve in control here?_ He can’t help but think back to what Steve confessed back at his house. “Did you really jerked off thinking about me?” Billy smirks.

“I did,” Steve kisses him again, more desperate this time and he manoeuvres Billy to lie flat on the bed. Steve straddles him and dives down to kiss him again like he's hungry for it.

Steve is in Billy’s bed, Steve is on top of him and Billy fucking loves it. He moves his hands to Steve’s thighs, then his hips and he grinds up earning a moan out of the guy on top of him. “You like that?” he asks and repeats the action. He can feel that Steve is hard against him and the fucker that Steve is, takes Billy’s leg between his legs and grinds down on it. He rides it. Now it’s Billy’s time to moan, but he muffles it by biting into his fist. He grabs a hold of Steve’s bicep. “Fuck, you’re gonna kill me.”

Steve trails kisses down Billy’s throat and starts to suck just beneath his collarbone. His intentions clearly to leave a mark. “You’re…” Steve stops and just looks at Billy with dark eyes and swollen lips. 

Billy's heart is racing and gosh, he feels like the luckiest guy alive right now. “I’m what?” Billy pants. His entire body is on fire and he wants to do so much more than this with Steve. He wants to feel every corner of Steve’s body. Kiss every inch of skin there is, but this is enough for now. He doesn’t want to push it. “Steve… I’m what?” he inhales sharply and bites down on his lip when Steve leans down to whisper in his ear.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous.”

Billy shivers and closes his eyes as Steve hums against him with a soft smile on his face. Like he's high or drunk. “You’re a fucking tease, aren’t you?” Billy asks and then he decides to swap places. He is almost manhandling Steve to lie down and Steve fucking yelps. “You can’t make any noise, Harrington. We have to be quiet.” Steve puts his hands up above his head and he laughs, no he fucking giggles and Billy’s heart does a thing where it tugs and gets all warm. It’s new, it’s euphoric and he feels happy for the first time in a long, long time. “You look so good lying beneath me," he breathes and trails a finger on Steve's clothed chest.

“Do I now?” he smirks and pulls Billy closer by the hoops of his jeans. “You look pretty good on top.”

“Ever had a handjob?”

“I’m not a virgin!” Steve blurts and blushes. "I've had the from girls."

“I figured,” Billy smirks and bites Steve’s bottom lip as he palms him through his sweatpants. “Would you want one now?”

Steve stills for a second and then he moans and presses his face into Billy’s pillow.

“Is that a yes? I’m not going to touch you if you don't want it.”

“Just… hold on,” he croaks out.

Realisation dawns on Billy and he gapes. “Wait… did you just?”

“I- no!” Steve mumbles into the pillow.

Billy slides off Steve and grins. “You did!” he laughs. “Man, we got to work on that.”

“Shut up, Hargrove.”

“Make me, Harrington.”

*

Steve refused to go take another bath. Billy is still hard, but ignores it because Steve is pacing around his room clearly conflicted.

“I’d rather just sit here with cream in my pants because I’m not gonna explain to Susan that I jizzed in my pants.”

  
“Fair enough,” Billy laughs and rests on his elbow while lying on the bed. “I’ll let you borrow a pair of my boxers, if you go shower once they’ve gone to bed. It’s like 11pm, you can go shower now, Steve, they'll be sleeping.”

“The TV is still on!” he exclaims and moves around uncomfortably. “This is your fault,” he groans.

“My fault?” Billy snorts. “Just because you jizz before I even touch your dick, does not make it my fault.”

“I know, but still.”

“I’ll go see if they are sleeping,” he shakes his head and walks out into the living room only to find Max asleep on the couch that Steve was supposed to sleep on. She has tucked herself in nicely and Billy just smiles at the scene. “Hey Steve,” he says and Steve walks awkwardly out of Billy’s room. “You can shower, its safe.”

“I can hear you," the little shit singsongs.

Billy freezes, panics and he turns to Steve who looks alarmed as well. “I thought you were sleeping,” he says and looks at her.

“I was trying too…” she groans and opens her eyes. “But, you guys are loud.”

“Max…”

“Mom went to bed 2 hours ago. It’s fine. I’ve never heard you laugh like that and I don’t care if you guys… you know, are together. You sounded happy.”

He can't believe she heard them. He doesn't know whether to be embarrassed or angry that she hasn't gone to her own room yet. “If you tell anyone, you’re dead," he warns and glares at her. 

“Billy,” Steve puts a hand on his shoulder but Billy flinches away from the touch. “Hey, its ok."

“Max, promise you won’t tell anyone!” he says through gritted teeth. He keeps the tone down because he doesn’t need Susan to walk out on them.

“I promise,” she says softly and rolls her eyes. “Hope you two hang out more because you sure do need it.”

“Brat.”

“Asshole!”

*

Steve showers, gets in a pair of Billy’s boxers and then they end up sharing Billy’s bed which isn’t big at all. If Steve lies on top of Billy it fits, but lying side by side becomes difficult unless they tangle themselves into each other. So, Steve hooks his legs around Billy’s and he spoons him. Who would have thought that Billy Hargrove would be a little spoon.

“You ok?” Steve asks and kisses the nape of Billy’s neck.

“I’m freaking out.” And it’s the truth. Billy is wide awake and he is terrified of how much happiness he’s felt in this short period of time. What if something happens? What if he fucks it up? What if Steve decides that Billy truly is a monster and goes off to find someone else?

“Hey,” Steve snuggles closer and breathes Billy in. “We’re gonna work this out and we’ll be ok. I like you a lot.”

Billy smiles at that, but he can feel the tears threatening to spill. He wants to believe Steve, but Billy knows deep down that good things doesn’t last if your name is Billy Hargrove.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, again.


	6. Happier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy and Steve goes to the cinema and the junkyard. Then it fast forwards a few weeks and Billy has to babysit Max for a few hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the late update, guys. I'm just nervous because I know this fic is all over the place but I just want to give it a nice ending. So the next chapter will be the ending. Well, not this one but the next one.

The weeks goes past and Billy is trying really hard to be nice to everyone. Steve is becoming more and more himself again. Stressing over the kids, mentions one night something about a demo something and tells Billy on the phone that they have to postpone movie night. It’s ok, really. Billy is suffocating. He really likes Steve, it’s not that, it just feels like he’s in a balloon and the oxygen is running out. He’s going to blow up, explode in everyone’s faces. He can feel the anger consume him like one of the California waves. It scares him because it feels like he’s losing control. The only time he gets outlet for the anger is during basketball and he ends up having weekly detention because he gets too aggressive. He brushes it off and tells the coach that it’s just because he’s so competitive.

When movie night comes around and Billy is parking outside of the Harrington residence he freezes. Steve’s parents are home. The walk up to the house feels like its miles away, but he finally rings the doorbell and Steve opens it as if he had been waiting by the door.

“Change of plans,” he whispers and grins before he grabs Billy’s hand and they run back to Billy’s car.

“What the fuck, Steve?” Billy looks back at the door once they reach his car.

“They got home three hours ago. They didn’t stop talking so I couldn’t call and tell you that we can't watch it here. I guess we just have to go to the cinema.”

“I’m not allowed to meet your parents?” Billy raises his brows in amusement.

“It’s not that!” Steve says, eyes wide. “I can introduce you if you want too, but-“

“I’m kidding, Steve.”

”Cool, nice, ok,” Steve licks his lips nervously and rubs his hands.

“Are you nervous?” Billy looks at him with confusion and smiles. Steve looks antsy, like something is eating at him. Billy groans. “Spit it out, Harrington.”

“It’s nothing,” he says and pecks Billy on the lips quickly. “I just haven’t seen you in like a week.”

“Awww,” Billy mocks. “Did you miss me?”

“Shut up.”

“You did.”

“Of course I did!”

Billy shakes his head. “Get in the damn car, Steve. Let’s go watch a movie.”

They drive down to the town while Fleetwood Mac is playing softly in the background. Billy refuses to look at Steve even though he can feel Steve’s eyes on him.

_Sweet wonderful you_   
_You make me happy with the things you do_   
_Oh, can it be so_   
_This feeling follows me wherever I go_

_I never did believe in miracles_   
_But I've a feeling it's time to try_   
_I never did believe in the ways of magic_   
_But I'm beginning to wonder why_

  
“Do you like Fleetwood Mac?”

“Not really. I just wanted to switch it up and Susan had this lying around.”

“I like this song,” Steve says and turns it up a notch to Billy’s despair. It starts of with humming but then Steve starts singing along.

“No, please don’t.”

“ _Don't,_ ” he starts snapping his fingers, “ _don't break the spell,_ ” he becomes dramatic and Billy groans. “ _It would be different and you know it will! You, you make loving fun,_ ” he strokes Billy’s cheek gently just to add effect and laughs. “ _And I don't have to tell you but you're the only one._ ”

“Steve, stop,” Billy chuckles. “You got to ease on the cheese.”

“It’s true though,” Steve leans on the door and looks at Billy.

For a second, Billy’s chest tightens. _Please don’t say what I think you’re going to say,_ he repeats it in his head like a mantra and he glances over at Steve when they stop at a red light.

“It’s fun being with you,” Steve doesn’t stop smiling, but when Billy looks away it falters a bit and Steve fiddles with the hem of his jacket. “I like being with you, Billy.”

Billy hums and stares out of the window with a grin. "I like you too."

They park the car and decide that making out a little before the movie begins is a good idea. Until Steve pulls away, embarrassed that he’s getting hard.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed, Steve.”

“Don’t you ever get hard?” Steve asks and looks away. “You got so much control, like how is that even possible!?” he sounds frustrated and adjusts himself in the passenger seat. “Fuck!”

 _If you only knew how little control I actually have,_ Billy thinks and frowns. “I was hard that night you stayed over and you fucking humped my leg. I was hard last night when I thought about you in the showers at school. I was hard earlier today when I thought about what I wanted to do to you once we got sick of whatever movie we were going to watch. I’m hard all the time, Steve.” _And for years I have hated myself, practised to make all those thoughts about kissing guys go away so I wouldn’t touch myself while thinking about dicks, abs or broad shoulders._

“Fuck.”

“Yeah, now you’re gonna think about your parents having sex," Steve groans and tells him that he's disgusting. Billy just chuckle.s "Let’s go watch this horror movie. I think it’s called A Nightmare on Elm Street or something.”

They buy their tickets and sits down in the back of the cinema. Billy is eating popcorn when there is a jump-scare and Steve slaps his hand into Billy’s, eyes still glued to the movie, but he tightens his grip on Billy and he doesn’t let go. If someone told Billy that this would be his life a year ago, he would have laughed and told them to fuck off, but looking down at Steve’s hand in his, he gets butterflies in his stomach and he has to put the popcorn down because it’s making him feel sick. Like a nervous kind of sick. He wouldn't let go if he could have it his way.

“This is scary,” Steve states and lets out a phew. Someone in front of them snorts and tells him to shut up. “Fuck,” Steve whispers and Billy can’t do anything but smile as he watches the movie get bloodier and terrible by the minute.

Steve doesn’t shut up about the movie until they reach Billy’s car and he doesn’t notice that Billy is looking around to see if anyone else is around. “Did you see that part where he just fell into the bed? Like how is that possible? I’m going to have nightm-“ he is cut off by Billy’s grabbing his face, tongue sliding into his mouth. Steve lets out a “Mmhpf!” but kisses him back.

It’s nice, they’re making out and Billy is maybe getting a little too eager because he starts to rut against Steve’s thigh. He is so in over his head he thinks and looks at Steve for a second before he crashes their lips together again and presses himself as close as he possibly can to Steve’s body. He needs to feel him. _All of him._

“Bill-” Steve attempts but Billy doesn’t stop. Steve has to push hard at his chest to get him off. “Billy!” he chuckles nervously and scans Billy’s face.

“What?” Billy clears his throat and looks away, flushing.

“You ok?” Steve is concerned, Billy knows that look.

Billy pulls out a cigarette and lights it up. Trying to calm himself down. He’s not ok, he wants to break something, he wants to be gentle too, he wants to feel Steve, he wants to break him, put him back together. He glances at Steve and every time it feels like he’s getting hit by a freight train. “I’m fine,” his voice is shaky and he curses himself for it. “I’m fucking great.”

Steve takes a step towards him and Billy doesn’t move away. “Hey,” Steve’s brows furrows. “What’s up?”

Steve’s cold hand finds Billy’s and Steve grabs Billy’s cigarette and takes a drag. “I’m just in a weird mood.” He sighs and looks up at the night sky, littered with stars. It somehow makes him feel ten years younger. Happier. It’s different and Billy can’t shake the feeling that this is not going to last.

They stand in silence, leaning against the Camaro, holding hands and smoking cigarettes until their hands hurt from the cold. “Could we maybe drive somewhere?” Steve asks after a while with a smile. “The junkyard?”

“Why do you wanna go to the junkyar-“

Steve looks at him. He just gives him a look. The look.

“Oh, you sure about that?” Billy flicks the cigarette onto the ground.

“About 80% sure, yes. I’m fairly… new at this,” he gestures to Billy and chuckles apprehensively. “I mean if you don’t want to that is fine, I just…” Steve groans and is obviously freaking out a little.

Billy got no idea what will happen at the junkyard or if Steve has a plan, but the thought of exploring Steve further sounds like the best plan in the world. The thought of Steve exploring Billy sounds like music in his ears. “Steve, shut up and get in the car.”

*

Steve looks out of the windows as if he’s making sure no one else is there.

“Dude, no one else is out here.”

Steve shakes his head. “Of course,” he rubs his hands on his jeans and inhales deeply. “I’m not going to lie, I’m nervous.”

“What do you want to do?”

“What do you want?”

“Jesus…”

“You want to do Jesus?”  
  
“Shut up, Steve!” Billy laughs and kisses him. “Let’s go in the back.”

They scramble out of the car and into the back awkwardly while taking off jackets and other heavy clothing. There is a shoe and a few empty beer cans lying on the floor. Steve steps on them all and hits his head while complaining about how small the back of the Camaro is. Billy doesn’t care and puts his hands on either side of Steve’s face while telling him to shut the fuck up and focus. Billy runs his hands through Steve’s hair while Steve is moaning from the back of his throat while fumbling with Billy’s belt.

“What are you-?” Steve looks like he’s drunk or high or both, he opens up the belt and tugs. “What do you want?” Billy asks, voice raspy and fuck, he’s so not ready for this. He swallows and holy shit, Steve is making him nervous. He’s never been nervous for sex. Not even his first time was like this.

Steve manoeuvres himself over Billy and lays him down in the seat. He starts tugging at Billy’s jeans, hands shaking a little but he’s still looking at Billy like he wants to devour him. “Take off your shirt.”

Billy obliges and when Steve does the same he mutters a silent fuck because Steve is gorgeous. Billy wants to kiss every freckle, every fucking inch of him and make him feel how much he… _no_. “Hey…” Billy tries to say but Steve is starting to tug on his boxers and Billy knows where this is going. “Steve…” he whispers and grabs a hold of the seat.

“What?” he stops and swallows. “Do you not want me to blow you?”

“Fuck,” Billy laughs and runs a hand down his face. “Of course I want you to blow me.” Just the though is making his dick twitch.

“Then what?” Steve looks confused.

“Have you ever…?”

“No.”

“Do you know how?”

Steve looks down at his hands and Billy knows that look.

He sits up and puts a hand on Steve’s neck. “Hey, I just wanted to make sure you’re on board. I don’t want this to be you just wanting to please me. I’ll talk you through it.”  
  
“I have thought about it since I slept in your bed. Of course, I’m on board. I’m just nervous about fucking it up. Like…” he sighs and runs a hand through his hair which is already a mess. “I want to be good.”

“You are good.”

Steve smiles and moves closer. “You’re gonna sit?”

“Don’t think there’s room for laying down and have you suck me off without it being uncomfortable for you.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah.”

Steve presses a kiss to Billy’s collarbone, then his throat and he moves his hand to palm Billy through his boxers. “Off,” he growls and Billy almost loses it. “If I’m going to be good, you’ll be good too.”

“You’re going to kill me,” Billy pants and shimmies out of his boxers. His dick twitches again and Steve doesn’t hesitate to put his hand on it. Billy grabs immediately have to grab Steve’s shoulder. It feels like his entire body is on fire. “Oh my god!” he bites down and inhales deeply through his nose. _This is it_ , Billy is going to die from this.

Steve kisses him while he moves his hand up and down, twisting his hand a little and he knows how to do this, every guy knows how to jerk off. “What now?” he asks shyly and presses his forehead against Billy’s. “I’m sor-“ his voice is trembling.

“No, it’s fine just…” Billy’s hand presses up against the ceiling of the car and he lets out a loud moan because, fuck, it has been so long, too long, since anyone has touched him. No one has ever touched him like this. No one has made sure it was nice or good. It was just go, go, go. “Move down and try it, I mean…” Billy can’t fucking think clearly, “I-uh… taste it, has no one gone down on you before?” he asks desperately. "The girls?"

Something seems to click in Steve’s head and he adjusts himself so he’s somewhat comfortable even if he’s stuck between the passenger seat and the beer bottles. He nuzzles Billy’s crotch and looks up at him with a smile on his face before he starts to drag his tongue up the shaft. Billy’s body jerks and he can’t believe this is happening. He feels like a virgin. “Where the fuck did that come from!?” he exclaims, tries to breathe normally but all he can do is pant and shudder from how good it feels.

Steve licks his lips and then he closes his eyes as he presses his lips against the head, his lips glistening with spit and precome. It’s probably one of the most insane things to find beautiful, but Steve looks so hot like this. Billy’s hand finds its way into Steve’s hair and Steve hesitates a little before he takes Billy’s dick into his mouth. He gags and pulls of before wiping at his mouth.

“How do girls do this?” he says and for a second Billy wonders if he means ‘how the fuck does girls stand putting dicks in their mouths?’ but Steve gapes, feels his jaw and frowns. “My jaw is terrible…” he does a little shrug and Billy can’t help but look helplessly at him.

Billy is dreaming, right?

“You’re the best damn thing, Harrington,” he utters and tries to yank Steve up for a kiss but Steve goes back down on him. This time taking all of him in and Steve bobs his head while Billy struggles not to thrust up into Steve's mouth. He pulls off with tears in his eyes but a smile on his face with spit hanging between Billy’s dick and his lips. It’s a fine-looking sight and Billy wants to scream because Steve is fucking gorgeous like this. “God, I wish I could take a photo,” Billy says and grunts because he’s so fucking hard and he’s so, so close.

“Am I being good?”

“If you’re being good?” Billy throws his head back and tries not to let out a pathetic whimper. “You’re fucking amazing, Steve. I’m so close.”

“I want to taste you,” Steve says and drags his tongue over the sensitive head, slides Billy’s dick between his lips, the sounds obscene, but so hot it drives Billy insane. He starts to see white and when he starts to pant and tug at Steve’s hair, Steve takes Billy into his mouth again.

“I’m going to come,” he warns and Steve just taps his thigh like ‘sure come on’. “Fuck, Harrington…” he whimpers and comes into Steve’s mouth. Billy got one hand on the cold window and one hand up on the ceiling, trying to still his trembling body and when Steve pulls off, Billy’s a mess and he pushes the hair that’s hanging in Steve’s face out of the way before pulling Steve into a crushing kiss. He can taste himself from Steve’s tongue, he can taste Steve’s tears, he can taste Steve and Billy starts smiling because this, right here? A steamy Camaro in a junkyard with his favourite person?

It’s one of the greatest things in the world.

*

Suddenly it’s Christmas. Billy doesn’t see Steve for almost two weeks because of it and Max is being even more annoying than usual. Billy starts to wonder if this is what it feels like having withdrawals because all he does is sulk and feel sorry for himself. His hand isn't doing it anymore and all he wants is to kiss Steve senseless and push him up against walls or have his way with him in his bed.  
  
“Do you want to play video games with me?” she asks one day when it’s snowing like crazy outside. Max is sitting on the floor setting up the game system. Susan is having lunch with Karen Wheeler and Billy said yes to babysit, be nice and have fun. What he didn’t sign up for was to embarrass himself in front a girl who’s at the arcade nearly 24/7. _Nope, that is not going to happen._

“No,” he snorts.

“Why not?” Max whines and gives him a pout. "Fine, I'll play by myself."

He watches her though and it does seem fun, but she crushes the game easily. When she’s played her game for about an hour she sighs and turns it off, making Billy confused. “It’s boring inside. Can we go for a drive?”

“No! Do you ever stop pestering? Can't you see I'm resting?”

Max rolls her eyes and shakes her head. “You’re just being whiny because you haven’t talked to Steve.”

 _She’s right._ “You’re wrong,” he sighs and lies down on the couch with a frown evident on his face. Max has become really good at seeing through him, which is annoying but good. She crawls over to him and leans against the couch. She wouldn’t have done that a few months ago. He likes to think that she's begun to trust him more. Things between them are… better. She doesn’t take his bullshit. Billy ruffles her hair. “You know everything, don’t you?”

“Dustin doesn’t shut up about it.”

"Dustin?!" Billy's eyes go wide, but then he realises that Dustin is like Steve's little brother/best friend. “Steve tells him everything, doesn’t he?”

“Yupp.”

“Fucking asshole.”

“We have a confidentiality thing though,” she adds and laughs. “It just me, Dustin, Lucas, Mike, El and Will who knows.”

“What!?” Billy sits up in the couch and Max turns her head to look up at him. “How the fuck does all of you shitkids know about me and Steve?”

“Like I said, it’s your boyfriend’s fault. He got a big mouth.”

_Boyfriend._

Billy has to lie down again. He groans and turns so he’s hiding his face into the pillows. He misses Steve, but he also wants to slap him for not keeping quiet. He doesn’t need everyone to know about them. He doesn’t need his father to know. Not that it matters because he’s in jail, but still. He doesn’t even know if Susan would be fine with it.

Max starts poking at him teasingly before it quickly escalates into tickling and he has to slaps her hand away followed with a glare. Or he tries to, but she just smiles back at him while giggling.

“Leave me alone, Max,” he says and tries to push her hands away before turning back to the pillows. “Please.”

“Can I go out?” she breathes.

“No. Your mom is going to be home soon.”

She grunts and throws herself on the ground out of boredom. “Asshole.”

Billy smiles to himself. “I’ll take it.”

*

Susan comes home hours later (Billy lied) and is shocked at the scenario in front of her. Billy is asleep on the couch with Max lying on top of him, drooling on him. It’s not usually how she finds them. She was expecting yelling and complaining when she got home, not this.

“Billy?” she leans over the couch and whispers into his ear, she notices he has a drawn on moustache. She nudges his shoulder and he startles awake. “It’s just me. Can you carry her into her bedroom?”

“What time is it?” Billy grunts and collects himself before slowly gathering Max into his arms.

“It’s 8pm, it’s not that late, but she’s sound asleep and if she gets to be awake she’ll be grumpy,” she makes a face. “Thank you.”

Billy carries Max into her bedroom and puts her onto her bed. He’s about to leave when he can hear that she’s turning in her bed and she’s sobbing. Billy turns around and he doesn’t know if he should just turn around and walk back out or if he should stay and comfort her.

“Don’t leave," she pleads.

“What’s wrong?” Billy decides to sit down on the edge of her bed. “Nightmare?”

Max smiles softly and sits up, wiping at the tears on her face, shaking her head. “You were nice today.”

“I was?” Billy sighs. "Shit, and here I was thinking I've tortured you all day."

“Yeah,” she sniffles and the smile is still plastered to her face. She looks at her artwork on his face and looks away with a smile.

“Why is that a bad thing? Isn't me being nice good?"

“It’s not a bad thing, you idiot,” she pauses and looks at her hands, fiddling with a bracelet.

Billy looks at it and it spells out Lucas, he should be nicer to him as well. To everyone.

“I’m just worried that something bad is going to happen and that you’ll be… mean again.”

Billy wasn’t prepared for this. "Hey..."

“I’ve always wanted you to act like a big brother,” she frowns.

“Max…”

“I got that today and I’m just really happy.”

Billy looks away. “I was always mad at you.”

“Why?” she looks up at him but he's staring at the floor.

 _Why?_ Billy clicks his tongue and shrugs. “I was afraid my dad would treat you better, which he did, y’know. You became the golden child,” he chuckles nervously and takes a deep breath. “You and Susan became the light in his day. I was the troublemaker, the past he wanted to escape, the punch bag, the one to blame if anything went wrong. You were the opposite. In my eyes, you were the opposite of what I was and I hated you for it.”

They both startle at the sound of pans in the kitchen clattering and Susan cursing.

“I never meant to… hurt you, Max.”

"Your dad was an asshole, you're not your dad."

How the hell is she doing this? Tugging at his heart so much? Billy shakes his head and sighs. "I don't want to be him."

“Is Steve making you happy?”

He groans and runs a hand through his hair, “I don’t know. What's with the questions?"

“Billy…” she rolls her eyes. “Come on.”

“He makes me better.”

She rolls her eyes and Billy smiles back with a light chuckle.  
  
“Alright, I guess he makes me happier.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for commenting and leaving me kudos it does mean a lot. I know this isn't the best fic, but it is my first Harringrove and idk man, I'm a nervous wRECK sorry thanks bye


	7. Happier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They visit Neil in prison. It is Christmas and Billy has never felt like this before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter yay! I HAVE SO MANY OTHER IDEAS AND JUST WANTED TO FINISH THIS. I've been struggling with kidney stones and have got some new ones so I'm so sorry if this chapter is disappointing and full of errors, but I'm in pain and like I said - wanted to get it out.

It’s Christmas Day and of course Susan feels guilty for not having called or visited Neil. She is hinting at something during breakfast and Billy is eyeing her, trying to piece it together whatever it is that she wants.

Around midday someone is at their door and Billy opens it up to find Steve standing there in a parka, a ridiculous hat, mittens and rosy cheeks. He smells of cinnamon and snow. Billy pulls him inside for a hug and just clings to him like he hasn’t seen Steve in years.

“Hey,” Steve pats his back. “Missed you too,” he smiles and pecks Billy quickly on the lips. “You look tired.”

“You look amazing,” Billy pulls him in for another kiss and Susan breaks their moment by clearing her throat.

“Good to see you, Steve,” she smiles. “Glad you could come along.”

“Wait, what?” Billy looks between them. “Come along for what, exactly?”

“We’re visiting your father.”

“We are not.”

“We are and I asked Steve to come along because I believe you need it. Even if you don’t want to talk to him, I still think he would be happy-“

“Susan, I don’t give a shit if the old man is happy. He’s been ruining my life for years!” Billy’s blood is boiling. “I’m not going!” he yells.

“Billy,” Steve grabs Billy with his warm hands and smiles at him softly. “Come on, it’ll be ok. We can just wait in the car.”

Billy isn’t completely disagreeing to that thought. But he grunts and chews his lip. “I don’t want to see him.”

“I just want you to come along,” Susan smiles sadly. “I have no difficulty understanding that you don’t want to see him, but my conscience needs this.”

Max is coming out of her bedroom in a nice dress and she looks very unhappy, Billy can’t help but laugh a little. “Not funny, mom.”

“You look amazing!” Susan says and Steve gives Max a thumbs up.

“I hate this, why can’t I just wear my jeans and a nice jumper? It’s freezing outside!”

“It’s Christmas Day young lady, we are all going to look somewhat nice,” she turns to look at Billy. “You have to change too.”

“Fuck no.”

“You can’t go in a stained t-shirt,” Steve clucks his tongue and eyes him up and down.

“What the-? Is this a conspiracy?”

“No, I’ve just got plans for us later.”

“You’ll be with your parents later.”

“I will not. They’re having friends over and I’m allowed to be with friends too.”

Billy rolls his eyes. “Fine, I’ll dress up nicely,” he groans and disappears into his room. Steve follows.

Steve throws off his outerwear and grabs Billy by his naked hips before kissing the nape of his neck and breathing the other in. “I’ve missed you so much,” Steve’s voice is barely a whisper and Billy is gripping the skyblue shirt in his hands tightly. “I’ve wanted to kiss you, blow you, fuck you and just be with you…”

“That was a lot of information,” Billy can feel his breath hitch. He turns around and Steve is looking straight into his eyes, a warm smile on his lips. “Kiss me.”

Steve slowly presses his lips to Billy’s and it is so tender it makes Billy’s knees go weak. It’s sickeningly sweet and Steve puts both hands on either side of Billy’s face and just kisses him like Billy is something fragile. This is new and there is so much warmth radiating from Steve and Billy wonders where this is coming from. He kisses back just as tenderly and when they break apart they just look at each other.

“I’ve missed you too.”

“How have you been?”

“Bored out of my mind but I’ve gotten a bit closer with Max, which I guess is a good thing.”

Steve looks proud. “She is missed by the boys.”

“Oh yeah, about that…” Billy puts the shirt on and turns his back to Steve while buttoning up his shirt and making sure he looks good. “I hear rumours that you got a big mouth, Harrington. How your band of lost boys, and now girl, knows about us. Is that correct?”

Steve clears his throat nervously and strokes the back of his neck. “I might have told Dustin who have told the others.”

“They won’t talk, will they?”

“They are honestly more worried about monsters and the world ending.”

“What?”

“I’ll fill you in once the holidays are over.”

“You’re such a weirdo.” _My weirdo._

“Oh, you love it though,” Steve spins Billy around and kisses him again. “God, I just want to stay here and do all the things with you.”

“All the things?” Billy smiles and puts an arm length between them. “Like what?”

“You know…” Steve blushes and looks at the floor, nibbling on his bottom lip like he’s all innocent.

“You want to fuck me or do you want me to fuck you?”

“I would-“

“Are you guys ready yet!” Max knocks and yells through the door. “Mom is in the car!”

“Shit,” Steve breathes and closes his eyes.

Billy presses their foreheads together and takes a handful of

“You’ll have to wait.”

How dare he? “Steve.”

“Billy,” he points at him and winks before exiting the room.

*

The car ride is silent but in a good way. Susan is humming and tapping along to a Christmas song and Max is in the front seat sleeping. It’s nice, Billy thinks and looks over at Steve who looks thoughtful as he stares out of the window. His hat still ridiculous, clearly homemade, knitted by some aunt or grandmother perhaps, and it is almost covering his eyebrows. Billy smiles to himself and looks out his window. The perfect moment is quickly ruined when he remembers that they’re headed towards the city and then to the prison to visit his father.

Does Susan even know how much Billy hates his father?

He wants nothing to do with the man. He’s glad he got beaten, he’s glad Neil got his ass busted. He doesn’t feel guilty or sad about it. The man deserves nothing good.

“You alright?” Steve whispers and Billy can see Susan look at them in the rear-view mirror. She didn’t comment on their kiss earlier. Max has probably already told her.

“I’m alright,” Billy reassures. “I just don’t want to meet him.”

“Your father?”

“Yeah.”

“You certain?” Susan asks.

Billy clenches his jaw. Out of all the people, Susan knows how bad Neil has treated him. She was just as afraid when Neil was drunk, angry or upset. He’s always been violent and Billy is so angry at himself for letting himself get like that as well. Angry, fuelled by other’s fear. It sickens him thinking back to how his fists collided with Steve’s face, the tight grip on Max’s wrists or slaps against her head. Or the way he treated Sinclair just because he liked Max… he looks out of the window again.

_The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree._

But is he certain? Neil doesn’t deserve Susan. He doesn’t deserve Max and he certainly does not deserve Billy to show up. A part of him wants to bring Steve and tell his father that he’s going to run away with Steve, marry him and get a white picket fence house somewhere. He wants to kiss in front of his dad just to spite him. He wants to rile him up one last time because this time he can’t touch him.

Yeah.

He wants to do that.

“I’ll see him on one condition,” he says and meets Susan’s gaze.

“Steve joins me.”

*

It’s tense. Steve doesn’t say anything, he just keeps glancing over at Billy and he grabs his hand which Billy is grateful for because it feels like he is about to lose his damn mind.

“It felt like a good idea at the time,” Billy breathes and looks down the hallway of the prison. It smells musty, like it has always been here, like a timeless place – which it kind of is because he can imagine the days not being very different from one another. He looks at Steve who still hasn’t said anything.

“Why are you so quiet?” Billy asks and tightens his grip on Steve’s hand. Afraid he’ll let go.

Steve blinks a few times, eyes glued to Billy, a soft but sad smile on his face. “I want to murder your dad. In fact, I don’t think I’ll be able to shut my mouth if I see his face.”

“I guess we’ll just have to kiss in front of him.”

“Billy, I don’t think I should go in there with you.”

“I can’t go in there alone!” he knows he sounds desperate but this was not part of his plan. “Steve, you can say whatever is on your mind, please just don’t let me go in there alone.”

Steve’s leg jitters and he bites the corner of his thumb nervously but nods. “Alright.”

“Thank fuck, don’t fucking scare me like that.”

“I was being serious.”

“I know, just don’t ever do that again.”

*

Susan comes out with a sad smile on her face and Max looks done. She looks pissed in fact.

“How did it go, Max?” Steve asks and punches her shoulder lightly.

“I hope you are ready for a shitstorm,” she says and sits down on the bench where Steve and Billy had sat. She almost looks a bit shocked.

Susan hugs Billy tightly. “I thought this would be a good idea, Billy. But your father is…”

“He is a fucking homophobic piece of shit and we should all hate him, mom!” Max growls from behind them and it sends chills up Billy’s spine and the words just leave him numb.

“What did he say?” he mutters.

“Max, enough,” Susan warns.

“I don’t think we should do this.”

“We’re here now, Susan. I’m going in,” Billy focuses again and checks with Steve if he’s ok with it. “We’re going in.”

“I love you, Billy,” Susan clutches his arm and hugs him firmly again. “I don’t want you to listen to his words, I want you to listen to us. We love you.”

*

Susan’s words fade to an echo when Billy enters the room. He tries to make the anxiety go away, he has to turn around multiple times just to make sure that Steve is right there with him.

A guard shows them where Neil is waiting for them behind the thick glass and in the booth. He got a fucking smirk on his face and Billy tenses up, he wants to go back, he can’t do this.

“I’m here, it’s going to be ok,” Steve mutters under his breath, afraid someone else will hear it. He guides Billy with one hand on his lower back over to the chairs and they sit down in front of Neil.

Billy looks at the phone, he really tries to look indifferent but he is scared. He hates how he shrinks under the gaze of his father.

Slowly he lifts the phone off the wall, his hand shaking slightly and the first thing he wants to say is ‘fuck you’ but what comes out is; “Merry Christmas.”

Neil tilts his head, sighs and shakes his head. “I’m disappointed, Billy.”

Now, this is what Billy was waiting for. He sighs back and snorts into the phone. “Of what?” he asks even though he knows the answer. He just wants to hear it.

“Who’s your friend?” Neil points to Steve who can’t hear what he’s asking and he chuckles because Steve is just staring at him with no expression whatsoever. “He seems angry.”

“He’s my boyfriend.”

Neil turns his head slowly to look Billy dead in the eye. “I told Susan what I thought of you, kid. I guess I should tell it to you too, I mean, it is Christmas after all.”

Billy braces himself. He is sure he’s heard it all. He’s sure his father can’t spew more slurs or comments at him that’ll cut deeper than what’s already been served.

“I’ve always known you were pathetic, Billy. It truly pained me seeing how you slowly became a fucking faggot, a failure. Is Steve here doing you good?” Neil grins and leans forward. “You forgot that even if he’s here, right next to you, you’re the only one who can hear me. Steve is not going to give you life, Billy. He’s going to find some nice girl and realize, like everyone else, that you’re just a waste of space and then he’ll forget all about you. Your mom thought the same and if the law allowed it I would have left your sorry ass back in California.”

“What is he saying?” Steve asks concerned, clearly sensing the tension between Billy and Neil.

“Mom loved me.”

“She did not, she always complained about you!” Neil barks out a laugh and Steve can hear it too. “No one has ever loved you, Billy.”  
  
_“We love you, Billy.”_

Billy looks down for a moment but looks back up with a smirk on his face. “It must be so fucking nice, dad, to believe in your own lies. You’re so full of bullshit - I’m amazed you haven’t drowned in it yet.”

“No one loves me?” Billy tilts his head and chews his lip, “Susan hugged me before I went in here, telling me not to believe a word you said.” He chuckles and shakes his head. “Max tells me every single night that she’s happy that I’m getting better because having you in my life made me sick. You made me angry, cruel and afraid, _Neil_. I know you wanted it like that, but no one loves evil. No one. You are the one without love because you chose to throw it all away. You had a son who looked up to you from the beginning when he was just a little kid, mom left because she was sick of your temper and I guess I reminded her too much of you so she told me to stay with you, but then you married Susan, she wanted so desperately to see the good in you, but you threw that away as well and guess what... She makes sure I know how much she loves me every single day.”

Steve grabs the phone from Billy. And Neil looks bewildered, angry and ready to punch the glass in front of them.

“Hello, sir, I just wanted to let you know that I love your son and from whatever I managed to hear through the phone; I have no plans on finding a girl to marry. I’d rather marry this guy because he is one of the greatest people I’ve met. I’ll be ready with a bat full of nails if you ever so much try to speak to him again. Ok, hi, my name is Steve and I hate you.”

Billy just looks at Steve, perplexed. _What the hell._

“Billy!” his father yells on the other end of the phone but neither Steve of Billy picks it back up.

“Let’s go before I try to break the glass.” Steve pulls Billy out of the chair and drags him out of the room not because the other boy is resisting, but because Billy is trying to comprehend what Steve just said.   
  
“Oh my god, that was terrifying,” Steve takes deep breaths when they are back out in the hallway. “Holy crap.”

His mind feels like a crushing wave of everything and he has to lean against the wall to support himself from falling over.

“Hey, you alright?” Steve says but it sounds muffled.

There is too much blood in his ears. Steve is looking at him with worry.

“Billy, hey, talk to me. What’s wrong?”

“Do you love me?” the words are heavy on Billy’s tongue and it makes his insides feel like they’re getting crushed. Steve did say it back inside there, but did he mean it? _Does he love Billy?_

“If I love you?” Steve looks confused but then he smiles warmly when he realises what this is about. He cups Billy’s face and looks into his terrified blue eyes before kissing him.

It’s sweet and delicate, and it answers Billy’s question. Steve loves him. _Holy shit._

“I love you too,” Billy breaks the kiss and smiles smugly.

*

They all get invited to The Wheelers to Max’s big despair because Mike isn’t really her biggest fan. Susan reassures her that Nancy will be there so it’s all going to be alright.

Steve calls his parents to let them know he’s staying the night at Hargrove’s because he can’t let Billy be alone on Christmas Day, can he now? They don’t argue.

Susan keeps asking if Billy is ok because he has looked withdrawn all evening. He keeps telling her that he’s fine, he’s just a bit tired, but he is feeling better now that he told his dad what he wanted to tell him. Got things off his chest.

Susan is getting herself ready in the bathroom when Max sits on the floor eyeing Steve and Billy. “You two are gross.”

“What?” Steve says with a gasp. “You’re gross.”

“Hey!” Billy punches him lightly on the shoulder. “I’m the only one who gets to pick on Max.” He looks at her, “You’re gross.”

“Get a room.”

“Oh, we will!” Billy laughs and pushes her with his foot.

“DON’T TOUCH ME WITH YOUR GROSS FEET!” she shrieks and then both Billy and Steve are on the floor tickling her and teasing her. “MOM! THEY’RE KILLING ME!”

“Boys!” Susan warns as she clips on her earrings. “Max, are you ready?”

“Yes, get me out of here. He touched me with his foot!” she complains and gets up from the floor.

“It’s just a foot, Max,” Susan rolls her eyes and they put on their coats and gets ready to leave. “Just call if you guys wonder about anything.”

“Thanks, Susan,” Billy smiles softly at her.

“Have fun!” Steve waves.

“Bye!”

Once the door closes Billy rolls on top of Steve and grins down at him. “Hey.”

“Hello,” Steve slides his hands up Billy’s sides, under his shirt and they stop at his hips. “You’re looking hungry, Hargrove.”

“You’re looking like a fool, Harrington,” Billy leans down and kisses him. “I want you to fuck me tonight. Whenever, preferably now.”

“Oh my god,” Steve chuckles and pulls Billy’s body closer to his. “I can’t believe we’re doing it on Christmas Day.”

“You better believe it because it’s happening,” Billy gets up and pulls Steve along with him to his bedroom.

Steve slams him against the wall and kicks the door shut. Billy moans, his hands feeling Steve’s body, holding on to him and scraping his nails down his arms and back. His eyes roll to the back of his skull when Steve starts to leave marks on his shoulder.

He bites down and grabs a hold of Billy’s hand and intertwines their fingers while pressing his body closer, as close as it possibly can. Billy can’t help but whimper and Steve growls in response.

“Bed.”

“Yeah,” Billy breathes and fuck, he’s so hard it physically hurts to move. Steve tugs his jeans down and then they basically throw all of their clothes onto the floor before tumbling over onto the bed laughing.

Steve is smiling down at him, hand stroking back a lock of hair before leaning down to press a soft, gentle kiss to Billy’s lips. “You’re really good lookin’,” he grins. Steve is straddling him, their dicks hard against each other and Billy is looking like he’d rather be fucking instead of sweet talking. “Want me to fuck you?”

The thought has crossed Billy’s mind, he’s never been bottoming before and the thought is mildly frightening but he trusts Steve. He nods and takes a deep breath. “Condoms are in the bottom drawer,” he points to his nightstand. “And lube should be there too.”

Steve gets the essentials and Billy can see how his hands are shaking when he pulls the condom on. “Fuck,” he mutters in frustration.

“It’s ok, we both want this, right?” Billy looks at him.

“Yes, of course!” Steve says, eyes wide. He crawls onto the bed again and positions himself between Billy’s legs. “I’ve wanted to do this ever since I blew you in your car.” He lubes up his fingers and starts kissing Billy again. He sticks his tongue into Billy’s mouth and the kiss grows more desperate for every second they lie there. He spreads Billy’s legs apart and spreads a little lube around before inserting one finger into him.

The moans escaping Billy when Steve pushes the finger into him is loud and he grips Steve’s shoulder. “Ste-Steve!” he whimpers and arches his back. It’s intense and it feels so, so good. “Wait,” he laughs and puts one hand over his face. “This is crazy,” he says and breathes.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No, fuck, keep going!”

Steve smiles and pushes his finger in further and loves how he can get these sounds out of Billy. “You like that?” he twists his finger a little and Billy just nods frantically while gripping the sheets.

“Please!” he pleads and writhes with pleasure. “I’m not going to last long if you keep fucking teasing around, Harrington!”

Steve slowly, but securely works him open and once he believes Billy can take another finger, he pushes the second in and Billy’s dick is twitching, leaking pre-come, his back is arching and he keeps pushing himself down onto Steve’s fingers until he touches knuckles.

“Just fuck me!” he cries out and when Steve pulls his fingers out, it gives Billy sometimes to breathe before Steve slowly inserts himself making Billy cry out.

Steve stops and looks down at him with concern. “Are you sure about this?”

“Just…” he breathes. “Push a little more in-ah-yeah ok just, give me a minute.”

Steve does as he’s told and Billy is gripping the sheets, inhaling through his nose and when he opens his eyes to look at Steve he forgets about everything. Steve got sweat glistening on his chest and both hands are gripping Billy’s hips. He’s a fucking sight and Billy tells him to keep going. he clenches his jaw and throws his head back because yes, this, right here, this is everything.

He is expecting Steve to start pounding into him, press him deeper into the mattress, but he leans down, kisses Billy before pulling him closer by his hips so he has to put his legs around Steve and then he moves slowly. A steady roll of his hips, still managing to hit Billy’s prostate and to make him almost cry.

“I meant what I said,” Steve says pressing his forehead against Billy’s and cups his face with one hand.

“Wh-what?” Billy bites down on his lip and moans.

“I love you.”

Billy whines and growls before he puts both of his arms around Steve’s neck and Steve goes deeper, and now he’s speeding up a bit. Each thrust a little harder and Billy can’t take it. “I’m going to come,” he breathes and looks into Steve’s eyes. He can’t believe this is happening, he never thought he would feel this happy and yet here he is getting fucked by someone who loves him.

Steve leans back and grabs Billy’s hips and he can feel how Billy’s body starts tensing up, how close he is and Steve thrusts one more time and Billy comes with a loud sob and it doesn’t take much more for Steve to come as well after seeing how wrecked Billy is.

“Holy shit,” Billy breathes once Steve turns around from throwing the condom into the bin. “Come here,” he pats the bed and Steve lies down next to him.

“You got come on your stomach,” Steve grimaces and chuckles. He grabs a t-shirt from the floor and wipes it off. “Have you ever had sex with a guy before?”

“I’ve fucked a few, but never been fucked.”

“What does that mean?”

“I never bottomed, I told you.”

“Oh…” Steve looks like he’s contemplating. Overthinking and Billy won’t have any of it.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Was it good? Like, did you enjoy it?”

“Did you not hear me? I was fucking loving it, Steve,” Billy pulls him closer and kisses Steve’s nose, then his forehead before kissing him softly on the lips. “I love you too, Steve.”

“You do?” Steve grins. "I love how you cry my name before you come," he says and snuggles closer to Billy's chest.

“You're an idiot, Harrington, but you managed to make me happy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has commented and left kudos. It has meant a lot to me and keep supporting the writers on here. It truly makes a difference. I can only speak for myself but yeah, I've never finished a fic until now and wow... YOU HAVE ALL INSPIRED ME TO KEEP GOING. THANK YOU AGAIN.

**Author's Note:**

> I would appreciate comments or constructive criticism on how to make it better. I don't have a beta so I'm like, trying to write, lol.


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